Sandwiched
I had the pleasure of meeting with the Indiana Parkinson Foundation (IPF) board chair and executive director last month to discuss working with them on grants. If you’re not familiar with IPF, you probably know about their exercise program that helps Parkinson’s patients and their families – The CLIMB.
Board Chair Bryon Foley and Executive Director Kim Williams impressed me right off the bat with their knowledge and dedication to helping people affected by this disease. During our conversation, Bryon mentioned a business called Harmony Relocation Services.
Harmony is based out of Brownsburg. They help seniors with the process of moving from their home to assisted living or another location from start to finish. Harmony’s website states they “plan, purge, pack, and place.”
After I heard Bryon talk about how this service helped him and his family, I sighed wistfully.
“Wow, that sounds so much better than the ‘freak out and panic’ method we used with my mom,” I said.
While we all had a good chuckle, the conversation brought back the rather awful memories of suddenly moving my mother to Noblesville two years ago from South Bend. If someone were to ask me my number one tip for transitioning an elderly person from their home to assisted living, I would tell them “DON’T WAIT!”
Mom’s doctor flat out told me almost four years ago to start thinking of moving my mother. But having this conversation with an elderly parent is challenging for so many reasons. It’s hard for anyone of any age to give up the home they’ve lived in for decades.
I did feel some hope one time when my mother asked me to drive by a small condominium that was for sale across town. I literally told my siblings “I think Mom’s finally going to downsize!” But it didn’t happen.
When Mom first started struggling with paying bills and taking care of her house, we should have all had a discussion with her in order to create a transition plan, one where we could take our time and figure out the best solution for Mom. But we were all busy with work and our own families.
The next thing we knew, Mom had fallen again and I found myself sitting in her doctor’s office the day after Thanksgiving hearing the words, “You cannot live by yourself any longer. You need to be in assisted living.” That was one of the hardest days of my life.
My siblings and I had a teleconference with Mom that afternoon and decided moving her down to Noblesville to be closer to us would be the best. My brother Mark and his wife Janie used A Place for Mom to narrow down the various choices (another wonderful service!) and we all visited two of them the following Monday.
Janie had the challenging task that week of working with Mom to pack the necessary belongings and furniture – while she was sick at times, I might add – and by that Saturday our family converged upon Mom’s house with a moving van and loaded everything up.
While everything thankfully worked out and Mom’s in a good facility now, I wished we would have been firm with her and started the discussion much earlier. We could have taken two months or more for her move, vs. two weeks, and maybe even used something like Harmony to make it all easier.
If you have an elderly relative, don’t be afraid to have open and honest discussions with them about a future move. Avoid the “freak out and panic” method and everyone will have a smoother – and happier – transition for your relative’s next stage of life.