Becoming a mom with Muscular Dystrophy, Part 2

As I mentioned in Part 1, there were some concerns going into my first pregnancy living with Muscular Dystrophy. The second time around was no different, but this time the concerns were a little different.

I knew I could get through a pregnancy. My body had shown me that it was capable. I also knew that I had learned a lot in my journey so far with Luke, who by this time was 3 years old. I had learned to adapt and care for Luke in my own unique way.

This time around I was thinking, can I care for an infant plus a busy 3-year-old who is highly active, and has a mind of his own? Anyone who has raised a child knows that age 2 has nothing on age 3!

The first two years of Luke’s life I felt strongly that he would be an only child. I knew that a second delivery would be another C-section. The first time had caused me to be a little worse off physically, but the joy of having a son far outweighed any of that. I started to feel a nudging that I did not want Luke to be an only child.

My husband and I decided that trying for baby No. 2 was what we wanted to do. Pregnancy this time around, as any mom of more than one child can attest to, was not the same experience as the first.

You do not have the luxury of taking those much-needed naps and only worrying about yourself. You have another human to care for that constantly needs you. I was also working again. Looking back, I know God picked me up and absolutely carried me through that time.

Our sweet baby Jack was born by C-section in 2007. It was a little different going in for a scheduled delivery. I knew what to expect, and honestly the delivery part could not have been easier. I feel like I healed a little easier from the second C-section. I think that could have just been I knew what to expect.

We had a lot of family support, and that is how we made it through. I think going to work in some ways gave me a little bit of a break from the physical demands of motherhood. In my opinion, there is no harder job than that of a stay-at-home mom. I worked part time, so I got a little bit of both worlds. Staying home with the kids was by far more physically exhausting than my job.

When we would go places, I would load Jack in his car seat on top of the table, so I did not have to try and lift him from the ground to the stroller. Most times, I would push the stroller out to the car and transfer him into the car that way. Luke was such a rockstar big brother. He adapted in his own way, too. He would help me carry stuff to the car like the diaper bag or my purse. He was a great helper to me, just doing the little things like bringing me stuff from around the house I needed to save me some steps. Everywhere Luke went, he ran, so it was always quick! He always did it with a smile on his face, too. He just got it, that was the way our family had to work.

(LEFT) Amy and her son Jack. (RIGHT) Amy and her boys at the Chicago Zoo. (Photos provided)

Something I always longed to do as a mother was to be able to scoop my boys up after they fell, or when they would raise their arms, wanting to be held. I was so envious when my sister and my friends would just effortlessly scoop their babies up in one quick motion and put them on their hip and run around doing all kinds of things. I never got to do that; it just was not possible for me.

What I did do was teach them to climb up on me. I would get to the nearest structure that I could lean against, and they would come to me. We called it monkey. They would climb up my body and once they got to a certain point, I could stand against something and hold and comfort them. Different from what others were doing, but it was special because it was our thing. We had a lot of those things that just the three of us knew and did.

The level of difficulty going from one to two was much harder, but we made it work. I had to have more help from family doing certain things, but the three of us did things on our own making memories together when I was home with them during the day.

If you are living with a disability and are thinking of becoming a parent, I hope my story helps you to see, that just like us, our kids adapt. They learn the ropes just like we do. Children of parents who live with a disability, get a front row seat to a beautiful lesson in perseverance. It really is priceless, and I believe a gift.

Until next time …

Amy Shinneman is a former National Ambassador for the Muscular Dystrophy Association, disability blogger, wife, and mom of two boys. You can find her blog at humblycourageous.com and reach her on Instagram @ashinneman.