From grief to joy

If you’re an empty nester, or a soon-to-be one, chances are you’ve lost one or both parents. I’ve shared with you all about the loss of my father-in-law Ron last April.

Ron – or Bopah, as I say because that’s what his grandkids called him – was 88 and battled cancer in his last few months. My husband, John, and I dreaded losing him, of course, along with so many other family members and friends. However, we also dreaded what would happen for what we thought would be months and months of work afterwards – preparing to sell his home and property.

See, Bopah just didn’t have a two-story American Foursquare home on two acres in a little town about an hour south of Chicago. He also had a pole barn … and a semi-trailer … and an outdoor cathouse … all filled to the brim with STUFF. Let’s just say he liked to go to garage sales and hold onto things in case he “needed them.”

For years, I must admit, I dreaded what we’d have to do when he passed away. But when it finally did happen last spring, I felt energetic and had a “we can do this” attitude. Team Shankland went into action.

Our team leaders included John, me, his brother Ron, and his sister-in-law Shelley (hereby referred to as The Queen of Organization. She makes me look like an amateur). All four of us had started helping Bopah reduce his clutter for a couple of years, but it felt like we barely made a dent.

After Bopah’s Celebration of Life, we invited family members and friends over to the property to look around and take what they wanted. That helped a lot. Our sons Jonathon and Jacob helped John clear out the semi-trailer, which someone hauled away for scrap metal. With the 4th of July being a Thursday, we all took July 4 to 7 off for a long “power weekend” to get more done.

Thanks to a burn barrel, a large dumpster, a trailer, and The Queen’s numerous trips to Goodwill (no organization offered pick up, unfortunately), we conquered a tremendous amount of clutter. Someone hauled away more scrap metal. A single mom down the road received a lot of furniture and other items, which was wonderful for both her and us.

We put other items by the country road, which passersby stopped and picked up. A few weeks later, Ron, John, and Queen Shelley held a huge pole barn sale. I was busy attending a writer’s conference that weekend, so I became the Head of Marketing for the sale to help bring in customers. The pole barn’s contents lessened dramatically.

A dear friend of the family helped BIG TIME with other tasks, including cleaning Bopah’s basement. (Thank you, Debbie!)

Finally, we were ready to sell the property “as is” – in August! I was shocked. And in early October, it sold – and not just to anyone. A family Bopah knew purchased it for their home and future animal sanctuary! Bopah was a huge animal-lover, so we felt like this was a God moment for sure.

We’ve been getting pictures this fall of their progress with the home and property. Our jaws dropped this week to see the pole barn EMPTY with kennels in place for large dogs. That’s a sight I never thought I’d see.

The joy we’ve felt seeing this is hard to describe. It’s certainly eased our hearts to see all the good happening at Bopah’s place. We are grateful and awestruck at the good souls who pitched in to make this all happen.

It’s certainly a tremendous lesson for me – that, though losing someone is painful, sometimes it can also later bring moments of pure joy and unexpected blessings.

Amy Shankland is a writer and fundraising professional living in Noblesville with her husband John, two sons, two dogs, and a cat. You can reach her via email at amys@greenavenue.info.