Wanna know the number one question uttered by middle-aged people?
“Where are my reading glasses?”
Whether you’re one of the over 2 billion people in the world with a vision impairment or have somehow avoided wearing glasses or contacts all your life, these little boogers are almost a rite of passage when you approach or enter your 50s.
When I first got contacts at age 17, I was thrilled. No more “Coke bottle” glasses. I could see so much better. My little near-sighted self was happy, and life was grand.
Then came my 40s. My eye doctor said he’d adjust my prescription and that I might need to wear 1.0 or 1.25 reading glasses on occasion. No problem! I remembered my father wearing his reading glasses and eagerly embraced them for a few minutes a day.
And I’ve always thought that reading glasses are just so darn cute for women. You can get them in so many sassy, colorful styles. Plus, they’re not thick.
Four out of five of this columnist’s favorite “accessories.” (Photo provided by Amy Shankland)
I was proud that I was on the lower end of the reading glasses strength for my 40s and early 50s. I maybe had two pairs. I didn’t need them often for the computer or for reading books in the evenings.
But last year, I noticed that I couldn’t see as well when I was driving, especially at night. Not good. When my new eye doctor said she could change my prescription to help with that, but that I’d need my reading glasses a little more often, I once again exclaimed, “No problem!”
I was thrilled with how well I could see when I went out and about. I swore I could view each and every leaf on the trees! I drove with confidence once again.
However, she wasn’t kidding. And soon, I had to have reading glasses for not just the computer and reading, but for watching TV, working in the kitchen, and dozens of other tasks.
Soon I was uttering that phrase “where are my reading glasses?” on more than one occasion. My husband teased me that I needed to start wearing them on one of those chains around my neck.
I refuse to do that. For now at least.
Instead, I bought … wait for it … FIVE new pairs on Amazon. Five colorful, sassy pairs. And they’re no longer on the lower end of the diopter strength. I’m a 2.0 gal (does that mean I’m a newer version of myself?)
So now there’s a pair in my car … purse … desk … coffee table … and bedroom. No longer will I be pacing through the house and wracking my brain wondering where my reading glasses are.
I know you’re thinking, “Why doesn’t she just wear a pair all the time?” The answer, dear Readers, is vanity, pure and simple. I’m primarily a woman who wears contacts and will dig my heels in to stay that way.
In the meantime, I’m just occasionally “accessorizing” with my colorful reading glasses and avoiding that middle-aged question for as long as possible.
Amy Shankland is a writer and fundraising professional living in Noblesville with her husband John, two sons, two dogs, and a cat. You can reach her via email at amys@greenavenue.info.