I’m just accessorizing!

Wanna know the number one question uttered by middle-aged people?

“Where are my reading glasses?”

Whether you’re one of the over 2 billion people in the world with a vision impairment or have somehow avoided wearing glasses or contacts all your life, these little boogers are almost a rite of passage when you approach or enter your 50s.

When I first got contacts at age 17, I was thrilled. No more “Coke bottle” glasses. I could see so much better. My little near-sighted self was happy, and life was grand.

Then came my 40s. My eye doctor said he’d adjust my prescription and that I might need to wear 1.0 or 1.25 reading glasses on occasion. No problem! I remembered my father wearing his reading glasses and eagerly embraced them for a few minutes a day.

And I’ve always thought that reading glasses are just so darn cute for women. You can get them in so many sassy, colorful styles. Plus, they’re not thick.

I was proud that I was on the lower end of the reading glasses strength for my 40s and early 50s. I maybe had two pairs. I didn’t need them often for the computer or for reading books in the evenings.

But last year, I noticed that I couldn’t see as well when I was driving, especially at night. Not good. When my new eye doctor said she could change my prescription to help with that, but that I’d need my reading glasses a little more often, I once again exclaimed, “No problem!”

I was thrilled with how well I could see when I went out and about. I swore I could view each and every leaf on the trees! I drove with confidence once again.

However, she wasn’t kidding. And soon, I had to have reading glasses for not just the computer and reading, but for watching TV, working in the kitchen, and dozens of other tasks.

Soon I was uttering that phrase “where are my reading glasses?” on more than one occasion. My husband teased me that I needed to start wearing them on one of those chains around my neck.

I refuse to do that. For now at least.

Instead, I bought … wait for it … FIVE new pairs on Amazon. Five colorful, sassy pairs. And they’re no longer on the lower end of the diopter strength. I’m a 2.0 gal (does that mean I’m a newer version of myself?)

So now there’s a pair in my car … purse … desk … coffee table … and bedroom. No longer will I be pacing through the house and wracking my brain wondering where my reading glasses are.

I know you’re thinking, “Why doesn’t she just wear a pair all the time?” The answer, dear Readers, is vanity, pure and simple. I’m primarily a woman who wears contacts and will dig my heels in to stay that way.

In the meantime, I’m just occasionally “accessorizing” with my colorful reading glasses and avoiding that middle-aged question for as long as possible.

Amy Shankland is a writer and fundraising professional living in Noblesville with her husband John, two sons, two dogs, and a cat. You can reach her via email at amys@greenavenue.info.